Chintans Musings

The End of an Era

2011-12-12T23:49:00.000-08:00

Sriram will be leaving for India tomorrow morning, and by the time he comes back, I will have moved out of our house. 2155 Acton St, Apt 2, has for 3 1/2 years been an eventful chaar dewaari of cooking, gossiping, smirks and shrill laughter, and most of all, a friend who has in many ways been an inspiration for swiftness and unending optimization. Through these times, I've been a witness to uncountable meetings, conference calls at 7AM, globe-trotting of the likes of consultants, on-the-fly innovation in the kitchen and to top everything, infinite enthusiasm. I secretly know that his creativity and sharpness is meant for very big things in life.

It seems like just yesterday when he moved into the house, and knowing that I was preparing for my prelims, cooked me dinner and came invitingly into my room with a plate in one hand and an unmistakable gleam in his eyes. "Yeh lo, khaao!" We spent so many memorable times together - our temple trips during birthdays and festivals, Yosemite, Tahoe, ice skating at Union Square, the Chinese Parade in San Francisco, clicking the lunar eclipse on a freezing December night on the Acton Courtyard terrace and infinite techno-management discussions in the kitchen.

You've got to excuse me for getting emotional. Here's raising a toast to the quickest guy that I know - Sriramkumar Venugopalan. A CEO coming to a company near you.

Clone

2011-11-24T16:01:00.000-08:00

If I could clone myself, I would get 48 hrs a day.

Shaayar ya shaayari?

2011-09-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Alys Faiz, the wife of the legendary Urdu poet, Faiz Ahmed Faiz, was once asked,
"Kya aap unki shaayari samajh leti hain?"

She said,
"Shaayari bhale hi na sahi, main shaayar ko jaroor samajh leti hoon."

17 times 5 equals what?

2011-08-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

We went karting near Portland last evening - Parantap, Gaurav, Arnab, Rudrajit and I. The price per person for 10 minutes of racing was $17. The guy at the counter was trying to figure out how much we should pay him. He wondered aloud, "What is 17 times 5? Oh God, I need a calculator for this!" We all blurted "85" in almost unision to which the guy was clearly exasperated. "How do you guys know these things?!"

At first, we laughed quietly to ourselves. Then it dawned upon us - if he really knew by rote that 17 times 5 was 85, we probably wouldn't have been in this country in the first place.

Epiphany.

What do I gift you?

2011-03-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

If I were to gift you my love
I would gloss over the roses, the orchids and the daisies.
And toss the teddy's, the fragrances and the draperies.

If I were to gift you a part of me
I would gift you my wings
to fly higher than I may dare see.

I would gift you my time
to explore the underworld and the divine.

I would gift you my eyes
to perceive your own beauty
and watch out for the unwanted surprise.

I would gift you my rhymes
To spin you into a web of words
yet have you read between the lines.

I would gift you my enthusiasm
my excitement, and my energies galore.
To architect entire cities from the dust.
And from the seams may you burst
Hungry and foolish, asking for more.

If I were to gift you a part of me
Don't be pleased with just what you see.
Pester and potter until I gift you
All of me.

Choice

2011-02-17T23:30:00.000-08:00

When I get on to the bus, I want to see the one and only empty seat. I'll be happy I got to sit. Don't abuse me with an empty bus. I'll be unhappy that I could've got a better deal.

Why sleep?

2011-02-17T23:01:00.000-08:00

You sleep too little.
You say it wears you out.
I say it wears me out.
And I snooze some more.

You sleep too much.
You say it scares you out.
I say it scares me out.
And I pry my eyes some more.

But what if you sleep too little.
Too often.
You say it wears you out.
I say it burns me out.
Burns out the sugar that coated my walls.
Until I see crisp the burning fire.
Fire in the belly, firing on all cylinders.

Why bother to sleep - I'm getting no younger.
Burn me in a flash - I'm too jaded to smolder.

Pull me close, my dear

2011-02-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

This stillness has become music to my ears
Notes that only I claim to hear.
Should I be enticed by my solitude again
Please pull me close, my dear.

My world exists in the spoken delirium
And silence quivers like leaves in the fall.
Should I fail to read the farthest corners of your mind,
I pray your eyes do beckon the call.

The wanderer within grows restless
And eggs on the feet to shuffle.
Should I try to disentangle myself from you
Remind me that I promised to hold you forever.

I see a train, and I want to get on
To race away into the rising sun.
Should getting there first be my only charm
Enlighten me that its you who is to be won.

The fleeting moments that are music to your ears
Should I brush aside as being out of line,
You be the pianist, the violinist and the strummer
And win me over with the symphony
that is your beautiful mind.

Engagement

2011-01-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

One ring to move them all,
One ring to unite them,
One ring to liberate them all
and from the bonds may never untie them.

De Young and the Restless

2010-11-14T20:17:00.000-08:00

We are swimming through a sea but in the end, only a few drops will stick to our hands. If only I was a merman, I would never have to wipe myself dry.

Oh, we're so drenched tonight..

A week in the life of a Scam

2010-11-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

Scams by our netas, bureaucrats and governments have become such a mundane yet active part of our lives that we probably won't be able to digest our food (pardon my shameless translation of the Hindi proverb) if otherwise. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there is a pattern to this entire circus.

Phase I: Blatant outrage coupled with the usage of redundant superlatives
"There is no truth to these reports. The accusations are totally, completely, absolutely baseless."

Phase II: Conspiracy Theory
"The opposition is trying to malign me. This is a conspiracy against me."

(After a slew of evidence flashes 24/7 on the 247 live news channels on TV)
Phase III: No comments
"I don't want to make any statements. I am not answerable to the media. I will give an answer to the party high command."

Meanwhile, white collar journalists organize 9PM TV debates with questions so easy that even my cat can answer. Some examples:
"Should Mr. Gadbad Singh be punished by his party?"
"Will the accused get away scot-free?"
"Do you watch this show for the news content or for ogling at the pretty women with ironed hair?"

Phase IV: We are all in the gutter.
"The Chief Minister was aware of the situation. I am not the only person responsible. (Hell, even my wife and mother-in-law are responsible. They keep nagging me for lavish gifts all the time)"
(This triggers a barrage of cross firing and collateral damage, after which everyone is stark naked)

Meanwhile, the Opposition does its job as well.
"The minister should resign. The cabinet should resign. Why is the Prime Minister quiet? He should also resign. There should be elections and we should get elected. (Oh damn, but then at some point we will also do a scam and will have to resign)."

Phase V: Look, I'm such a saint.
"I am resigning voluntarily. There is no pressure on me. My resignation does not prove any guilt."

Phase VI: The Circle of Life
A new scam comes up and we go back to Phase I, happily ever after.

TV journalists, camera-men, editorial writers and cartoonists go to sleep every night thanking God that they still have a job. We all go to sleep every night thanking God that we have something noteworthy to post on Facebook. Our friends go to sleep every night thanking God that they can "Like" and make intellectual comments on our posts.

At the end of the day, only Mark Zuckerberg and Rajdeep Sardesai are laughing themselves sick.

The Circuit Designer's Sense of Humor

2010-10-31T20:08:00.000-07:00

1. "Sir, can I have your order?"
"I'll get the Pad-Thai".
"Would you like it with a 40 micron pitch?"

2. "Do you know why the scan chain isn't working?"
"Yeah, my flip-flop was driving under influence. It got a ticket for hold-time violation."

3. You said we need a lot of decap so I laid out our power-grid in poly and active.

4. I don't understand why Victoria Beckham isn't a circuit designer. She even calls herself P-SPICE.

5. "Did you know that the iPhone-4 has reception problems?"
"Yeah, they probably forgot to check DRC for antenna errors."

6. My girlfriend is very biased. She spends all her time looking into her current-mirror.

7. I hate Graduate student reviews. My Adviser always gives me a lot of positive feedback.

8. Ques: Why did the PMOS go to the doctor?
Ans: Because it was n-well.

9. Did you hear about the starved oscillator? Someone cutoff its supplies.

10. Our PLL designer takes his job very seriously. He even injection locks his screen.

11. [cory-info] [Fwd: Re: UCPOLICE Crime Alert - StrongArm Robbery]. The victim was threatened with a VDD-GND short.

The Friday Sunset

2010-09-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

The Friday sun hurries along
But the watch ticks as slowly as it can
The wheels vroom and screech impatiently
Rushing into the unwinding plan.

The lines are long
All roads lead to the ports
All thoughts belong to beloved ones
And the gait is smitten by the prance.

The hostess is peppy; the pilot is in jest
But thoughts of the hugs won't let you rest
The smells of the cabin are impeccably fragrant
But the arrivals lounge - it must play truant.

When the rubber finally lazes to a halt
And you see your dear blue moon
The lips smile wide grinning ear to ear
Yet the words won't fall out so soon.

Before Messrs. Traffic & Jams can take the blame
The curses have their two seconds of fame
"Why so late, I couldn't wait no longer!"
As the hands slip around the shoulder.

The cards are swiped, and the tickets are clicked
Popcorn machines go wild; waitresses over-tipped
The DJ grooves on while the night is young
And Monday seems conspicuously far-flung.

The ceiling is gazed and the eyes won't blink
The hearts will pour out sans the extra drink.
Friends are remade and lovers hold tight
Sleep never really had the Friday night.

The Saturday wakes up to a lonely dawn
And before you'd know, the Sunday is gone.
But as guilty as I feel for my promises unkept
I yearn once again for that Friday sunset.

If it would.

2010-09-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

If I run fast enough, and lift my feet off the ground
Would I be able to take off into the skies?
If I stuffed my bag with ample mundanes
Would you please tear open and fall out of the sides?

If I gave you all the freedom you want
Would you rebel I didn't hold you close?
If I held you close and promised never to let go
Would you feel stifled in the bindings I chose?

Should the flames go dim and darken my sides
Would you stay until I light the new spark?
If I had my own feet and moved out from your spot
Would you still trample me, and choose not to hark?

If I had the answers to all your questions
Would you be kind enough to answer mine?
But then, if the song was ever complete
There would never have been a reason to the rhyme.

The Solitary Reaper

2010-05-22T01:14:00.001-07:00

I like to fight my own battles
I make my own shield, my own spear
Watch the wolves go down with a howl
Pump the fists, and grunt a victorious growl.

The lone ranger appeals to one and all,
In the middle of the desert - oh yeah, he stands tall.
Share thy spoils with none,
Let not a soul get a bite of the fun.

I've come a long way out
From the maddening crowds to the deafening silence
In the cacophony of the many shrieks and whispers,
Each throat must have its own clout.
(I'm still tipsy in search for that balance)

I set the finish line, and lap it up
Sometimes with ease, sometimes I displease
Even when the chequered flag goes down
I'm looking for shades beyond the black and the white.

When I talk to you on the radio
Listening for how to make it across that chicane
I have my sights on the straights ahead
That will race me back to the start
There's always a new game to be fought.

I look the sun in its eye
Roll over in glory, my face glowing red
But when the champagne dries up,
And the tifosi have gone to bed
I won't remember the thrills of the street
Nay, the blurs won't even find their feet.

I'll romp back home and toss the silverware
Overlook the plaques, the medals and the new bullet
Set the candles on a table for two
Until I realize - "there is no spoon".

When I turn the static off the radio
When I clap for the robe that nonchalantly flutters
When I won't have to stare long enough to discern,
Will I see beyond the glistened mirror
And watch you smiling back at me.
Its only then, my dear - I will miss you.

Too many coincidences

2010-05-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Fred Meyers.
FirstTech Credit Union.
Mayuri Indian Store.
Streets marked as NW, SE, and the likes.
10 miles from a major city.
Tech-giant Company.

Too many coincidences, huh?

Smile on the Face

2010-05-11T01:11:00.000-07:00

How hard is it to put a smile on that face?
To sneak past the weariness
To unload the heaviness that drags back
To wipe out the slate and start afresh?

A shake of the berry glasses,
Shaken but not stirred
A sweet tooth and a sweet tongue,
Sweeter than the voices heard
On the other side of the ring

A clock that spins fast,
A snooze that comes good at last
Stretching and pondering in the warmths
Shirking off is believing.

Desserts of passion that I wait to feast
Imagining the clinks of the forks
The tresses that waved back
Now set with the sun on the eastern sky

Equations of desire
Or inequalities of the minds?
The thought deepens as the thread goes blank
Until it throbs for the smile of the years gone past

How easy was it to put a smile on that face?
How easy was it to fall from grace?
I saw it sinking, but still reconcile
What if the water was shallower?

Funny how easy it is to put a smile on that face
Steal those moments from the quarry of the reminiscent
Sniggers and giggles that still laugh with me
Etch those lines out on the sides of my eyes
Dig deep until they draw out the pearls
Pearls of wisdom I have for me
Their shine no one can take away from me.

Streaks of vanity pep it up
As I become Alexander of the Autobahn
When the smile dawns upon me
I become united with one.
I am the one.

A Rolling Stone

2010-05-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Wide asleep or deep awake,
I wander through the seas.
Right or wrong, who's to judge?
But at least I am the master of my will.

I keep searching for the answer
Turning stones with restless unease
What am I meant to do here,
Can no one be pleased?

I could make my own rules
My own rulers, scales and yardsticks
But then if one size fit all,
There would be nothing to be achieved.

The stones I've all upturned,
But I can't move the rocks
And I dream of what would be underneath,
Do our dreams rule us, or is it the other way around?
Thats a question for another day...

Speaking of rocks and rock-faces,
I dreamt of a face once
Felt its serenity from close and far
Rock solid, it made me stay

On the rocks, I spent my days
Gazed deeper into the faces
Until the gazes turned into chisels
Drilling out the dust and the ashes

Rain or shine, the rock kept still
I wanted to leave, but the rock had a free will
Freedom is overhyped,
Freedom can kill
Free will - who can debate thee?
But I'd rather be chained, than cease to be

And then I stumbled upon the grass
That bent with the flow, yet held its head high
Down in its apparently shallow roots,
I found my presence still lurking
Beckoning me back

I want to turn around and roll in the plains
Feel the mud in my feet, and the moist breeze on my cheek
But I must roll ahead,
For a rolling stone gathers no moss.

I don't want to slip on the moss again.

Job vs. Grad School

2010-05-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Job-life is like a freeway, where speed = money. Its easy to fall asleep, yet, the money will keep flowing. Life gets exciting only when you change lanes.

Grad-life is like a Formula-1 race. There will be long straights where you drive flat out and stress your engine to its limit. There will also be some tight corners and chicanery chicanes. The acceleration and deceleration can be as high as 4G. What you want to do is see the chequered flag, and and avoid DNFs. You can end up a couple of laps down, but if you drove some fastest laps, you will cherish them all life.

PS: Special thanks to Sriram for the inspiration.

The Driver's Seat

2009-12-27T18:09:00.000-08:00

After having driven for more than a year and a half in the US, its initially frightening, and later amusing to watch people maneuver their cars in India. In the US you get spoilt with everyone following lanes, so much so that one can almost doze off on the freeway. India obviously is a different ball-game, with the challenges being - avoid potholes, avoid pedestrians and most importantly, avoid other menacing rash drivers.

Of these 3 challenges, probably the most difficult is the third category - rash drivers - since they move the most quickly as compared to the other two. Whats worse is that such class of drivers usually don't own the cars that they drive, and have no emotional attachment whatsoever to their vehicle. For them, a car is but a platform with 4 wheels and 1 steering wheel, meant to go from Point A to Point B. Quite a contrast to the "I love my car - I nourish it with Servo" feelings that one would have for one's own baby-on-wheels. Put squarely, this class of drivers includes (a) most auto-rickshaw drivers, (b) most taxi drivers, (c) all public transport (read bus) drivers and (d) all rental-car drivers.

Don't get me wrong - I'm proud of the fact that Indian drivers make the most of the minimal space available on roads these days, driving centimeters away from each other, yet co-existing (in peace, mostly). I'm actually proud to be from a country that has only 12 vehicles per 1000 people, as opposed to the States which has over 700 vehicles per 1000 people (and thus significantly lower emissions per capita). Whats not so benign for my blood pressure is the heart-stopping skills that these "unattached" drivers exhibit. This winter, I had the chance of meeting several such talented guys, from which two ostensibly stand out - one each from Bombay and Calcutta.

Backdrop 1: Bombay

Hero 1: Gokul (rental car driver)

Intro: Gokul is a short and lean character in his late twenties, who, like all "young blood" (as my Dad calls them), likes to be ahead of the pack - come what may. His physical size has no correlation whatsoever with that of his ego when he drives. They need such belligerence to fight back the Al-Qaeda in Pakistan. When I see the adrenaline rushes that Gokul gets by nudging forward by hook or by crook in heavy traffic even at paltry speeds of 30 km/hr, I feel that if rather given an empty road, he would feel insulted and may be even stop driving. Whats even better is that Gokul likes to explain each of his hair-raising moves with a "Maeene kya kiya? Wohich khaali peeli beechmein aa rahela tha". Bambaiyya Marathi at its best. Gheun tak!

Every time we approach a barrage of traffic, and just when I think that there's no space to go any further, he improvises such tantalizingly late moves, that would make Sachin's late cuts look pedestrian (pun unintended). The use of handsfree devices while driving is banned in Bombay, but that doesn't stop Gokul. With all the Schumi moves in the backdrop, he talks on the cellphone in loudspeaker mode dangling around his neck, and his girlfriend frantically shrieking from the other end, “Gokul, tu aahes na?” (best interpreted as “Gokul, are you still alive?”) He replies with a calm "Haan mee aikto na. Tu bolat raah" (yeah, I'm listening. You just keep talking).

Act I, Scene I

We're driving back through the Powai area near IIT Bombay, which is a legendary chicken-neck. To ease the traffic flow, they started widening the roads even before I started my Ph.D. I wonder if they'll finish before I graduate. Anyways, cutting back to the plot, the central portion of the road is being concrete-ized, while traffic is routed on the peripheries. While the rest of the traffic is honking in frustration, Gokul, who knows the placement of the concrete mixing machines and water like the back of his palm, comes up with the ingenious plan of driving through this portion under construction. At one point he even drives over the road divider. "Khali jagah hai toh waparneka na" (if its empty, then it ought to be used). I will remember the dumbstruck labourers' faces each time I drive through that portion again.

Act I, Scene II

Now we reach a portion,where we're still in Powai, but the tricks from Scene I don't work any more since the part under construction has a railing. We're forced to follow the cars ahead of us, obviously to Gokul's dislike. There's a traffic policeman (havaldar) guiding the traffic in front of us. He spots Gokul who is constantly weaving in and out of the rest of the traffic. Out of consideration for his restlessness, the havaldar points towards us, whistles and formally opens up a fresh piece of newly constructed road to create a new lane behind where he is standing. Gokul's joy knows no bounds. He up-shifts instantly and pushes down hard on the accelerator, head-on into the havaldar. The havaldar leaps out just in the nick of time, whistling away frantically, partly in fright, partly in anger. Gokul gives me a puzzled look, "Usko hat-na chahiye tha na?" I can bet that the cop will henceforth leave his kindness at home before showing up for work.

This entire episode jogs Gokul's memory to the "good old days". "Arre yeh toh kuchh nahin hai. Ek baar toh maine havaldar ko sach mein uda diya tha". The mother of all stories. Act 0 is as narrated to me by Gokul in flashback mode. Trust me - translating will make the punch go away.

Act 0

"Baarish ka time tha. Dopahar ke kareeb 3 baje rahenge. Vashi mein main Sumo chala raha tha. Ek havaldar khopche mein khada tha, bina headlight ke 2-wheelers ko pakadne. Mereko woh dikha hi nahin. Usko bhi main nahin dikha kyunki wahaanse sirf 2-wheelers hi ja sakte the. Bahut paas aa gya tab dikha. Abhi agar gaadi mein utni jor se brake maarta toh gaadi skid ho sakti thi. Baarish ka time tha na! Toh phir kya, maine usko uda diya. Uske saath ek aur havaldar khada tha jisne pehle socha ki bike pe mera peechha karega. Phir usne dekha ki uske partner ki haalat itni kharaab thi ki usko bachane mein jyaada dumm tha. Mera number plate note down kiya hoyega usne, lekin baadmein kisine kuchh bola nahin, matlab woh havaldar shayad bach hi gaya hoyega".

He's not wrong you know - the havaldar almost certainly would have lived. What better reason to be assured of that - Gokul is still on 4 wheels. Licensed to kill.

Backdrop 2: Calcutta

Hero 2: Name's Ravindra aka Ravi (pronounced as "row-bee" in Bengali, and henceforth referred to as Robi or Robida). Robi is also a rental car driver.

Intro: Robi's also lean, but taller than Gokul. In stark contrast to Gokul's surprised "why-are-people-angry-with-my-driving" looks, Robi has a somewhat mean face that smiles but with sly tacit sarcasm. But did I not say he is talented? For starters, he starts the car in Gear-2 for reasons that I can best comprehend as laziness to shift gears. For the first 15 mins that I sat next to him, I was almost convinced that Tata Sumos are now manufactured with Gear-1 to the bottom left corner. After the first 15 mins, I felt for his engine.

Robi's most impressive skill is his judgement. He can feel every corner of the Tata Sumo as if his soul was bonded to it (watch Avatar, and this will start making more sense). When he backs up the car, he knows better about the exact location of the rear than even someone who is sitting on the back-seat, right next to the rear window-pane. Quite naturally, Robi can move a car out of tight spots even when practically surrounded by cars and/or road dividers on all 4 sides. A much needed skill for the Calcutta traffic that frequently comes comes to a standstill just like in Los Angeles.

Act II, Scene I

On Calcutta's bypass (you can call it a close cousin of an freeway), Robi sees an empty stretch of road. His foot digs deep onto the gas. The world in front of me starts going out of focus, but my eyes are glued to the speedometer. When the needle reaches its out-of-my-cars-skin limit of 130 kmph, the entire car starts vibrating heavily. If you didn't understand the practical effects of resonance taught in Physics class, this is your one chance.

Act II, Scene II

We're at the same freeway. A close cousin of Robi's (the relation obviously comes from driving style rather than a blood relation) is driving side-by-side, almost racing with Robi, at 120kmph. There's an auto at a 10 car distance ahead of Robi, going at best at 50kmph. The cousin's car is to Robi's right, with the divider on the cousin's right. Robi wants to win the race, and honks like crazy, but the auto won't budge. The cousin is obviously trying to gain on Robi, but Robi in turn is trying to overtake his cousin so that he can first pass him, and then avoid the auto. The cousin, being Robi's cousin, will find it an insult to be passed.

Robi however has somehow now pushed his nose ahead and is half in his lane and half in his cousin's lane, with the auto at a 3-car distance in his original lane. With both cars honking incessantly, and none willing to budge or slow down, it seems that Robi's collision with the auto's back and the cousin's collision on Robi's right side is almost inevitable. At a 1-car distance away from the auto, Robi presses hard on the brakes (telepathically, his cousin does the same), and almost magically, both accidents are avoided within the blink of the eye. To be honest, I wasn't even blinking - my eyes were wide shut. In all the melee, I have a revelation - Seat-belts claim to save lives, but they can't protect flaccid hearts.

The final reaction: Robi rolls down his window, spits gutkha to his right showing disgust to the cousin, who yells back in retort. And life goes on.

Act II, Scene III

There's traffic stacked up in front, but Robi's mind works faster than a computer (a la Chacha Chaudhry from Diamond Comics) He is looking into his mirrors for an answer. All I see is that we're in the right-most lane, with the divider to our right side (remember that we have right-hand driven cars in India). Robi has suddenly found gold. He takes our car in reverse to the reach an opening in the divider, sneaks out to the opposite side, drives nonchalantly on the wrong side against the dazzled oncoming traffic, and sneaks back into the correct side using another opening in the divider.

If Gokul can drive on the divider, Robi can drive around it.

Act II, Scene IV

We're finally heading for the airport. I ask an innocent question in broken Bangla, "Robida, airport jonno koto shomay laagbe?" (How much time will it take to reach the airport?) He doesn't say a word, but I'm quick to read the answer on his mischievously gleaming face. Its almost screaming back at me - "How quickly do you want to get there?" Thats when reality dawns upon me - Why did I even ask?

Once upon a time

2008-09-10T02:04:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time,
When the mind was naive
When the heart did most of the talking
When the ears heard but didn't listen
When the eyes saw but didn't register
But he was free..

Once upon a time,
When he knew little but owned a dream
When the glass was empty yet drops could be seen
When the world was more good than bad
When he was more happy than sad
And he was free..

Once upon a time,
When the scooter chugged every Friday night
When the stomach was full but the heart craved more
When each break was two train journeys across the country
When vacations were his - no questions asked
Yes, he was free..

Once upon a time
He forgave and forgot
Now the egos unfurl
Behind a veil of pride

The facades are off
And the masks are coming on
The knowledge is growing but
The circle is shrinking

And however hard he wish
that he hadn't known so much
Now that the lines are drawn
The world is a smaller place to live.

Commencement

2008-06-16T00:57:00.000-07:00

BART to San Francisco Airport. Phone call. Bear-hug. Perfume. Graduation wishes. Bear-hug. Airtrain. Toyota Corolla. Gossip. Past, present and future. Characteristic laughs. They don't sell those on eBay. Dinner. "Berkeley has good restaurants". "Stanford has best friends". Tashan. Akshay Kumar as Ravan. Comic timing. Timing thats not clocks and flops. Timing lasted 4 yrs once. Brought the house down once. Now found on the other side of the Bay. Even Moses can't part these waters. Sleep.

"Jaldi ready ho jaa, Chintan." Hah! Impossible. Never happened. "Jaldi nahaa le, Chintan" Hah! Impossible. Never happened. Single song on repeat in Winamp. Some things never change. Pray they never change. Black cloak. Hawaiian garland. Sunscreen and Sunglasses. John Hennessey. Oprah Winfrey. Someone please give a speech on something other than how to achieve success. Lunch. Balloons. Flash. Colgate smiles. Flash. Black Cloaks. Flash. Hat's too stuffy. Comes off. I'm off too. The hat's small. Still holds memories. All of them. Today included. One such hat per sem keeps the chemistry going. Amen.

Caltrain. Sleep. Dream. Wake up at Oakland Airport. 3 days too late. Frequent flier miles should be used. Because 400 miles away a cloak lies folded and quiet. Cloaks are meant to flutter. Wishes and horses. Horses trot over wishes. Horses are so dumb. For the last time. Some things should change. Pray they do.

Yes, its a beautiful day

2008-05-10T18:34:00.000-07:00

On a warm Saturday evening,
When the sun is not yet down
When the leaves babble in the wind
When the Golden Gate glisters across the horizon
When the Bay beams in joy
There's someone, stashed in a cubicle

The sun teases to draw you outside
The leaves cackle in hope for distraction
The Golden Gate glitters but is not gold
The Bay can't wash away the miseries
True happiness lies at the desktop
Or so the mind says

Some day I'll beckon the sun
To set only after I'm done
Some day I'll play with the leaves
They'll complain if I'm gone
Some day the Golden Gate will be
The gate to mirth and solace
Some day the Bay will extend
Beyond the boundaries of insignificant competition

Some day I'll go home
And find them waiting
"You've had a tiring day..
There's dhokla for dinner"
Some day I'll read Harry Potter in bed
And sleep not thinking about the next
Some day I'll wake up to the chirps of the cuckoo
Singing behind the window slide
Some day there will be no dreams to chase
But all the time to cherish
That day I'll wake up and say
"Yes, its a beautiful day"

Insignificant nothings

2008-02-07T02:18:00.000-08:00

When was the last time you felt insignificant?

When was the last time you were no more than a drop in the ocean?

Little drops make an ocean.

Yawn - they teach that to gullible kids in school.

The butterfly shows off the flower as his prized possession.

The flower is just another rose in the garden.

The garden only stands at the edge of a behemoth city.

The city teems with life, yet just a meek whisper on the face of the growling earth.

The growl makes the butterfly droop his wings.

How many people need to approve that you're standing out?

How would you know that you won't fade unburnished?

Who are you trying to prove a point to?

When will you call it a period?

And then it dawns upon the butterfly

That amidst scores of flowers

That in the cacophony of the city

That even though his flapping can't raise a storm

All that matters is being snug with his rose.

His rose is his world.

His rose is everything.

Sometimes

2007-12-07T01:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, even the workaholic Grad School pauses to catch a breath.

Sometimes, Kgp comes back to haunt you.

Haunting is not always scary.

I want to be haunted by the cool summer breeze from B-Top-East.

Sometimes, I want to stop and smell the roses.

Most of the times, they pull me back and I feel that I'm ploughing for the new gardens to come.

The quest for utopia is unending.

"The day I get into IIT, I'll be happy"
"The day I get a foreign internship, I'll be happy"
"The day I get a good app, I'll be happy"
"The day I have a paper at ISSCC, I'll be happy"

Happiness is here to stay.

Sometimes, I don't know what I'm looking for.

Most of the times, I work hard to keep those sometimes at bay.

Haunting can be scary.

Sometimes, it takes diffused yellow lampshades, stirring music, a Blogger window and 1 AM on the clock to feel like oneself back again.

I know that my rose is here to stay.

Sometimes, one rose can make a bouquet.

B Top East - The Moviee

2007-07-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

Pre-script (PS): Any resemblance of the title of this post to Himesh Reshammiya's latest blockbuster is purely coincidental, and the extra vowels bear no pedigree to numerology.

Life away from Kgp can be pretty mundane, unless one is in the luxuries of home like yours truly these days. While browsing through the truckloads of pictures that I have on my desktop computer from Kgp, I realized that the folder 'Wingies' was 1.5 GB - a good 1500 pictures from over the last 3 years at B Top East, Patel Hall. Picassa and Movie Maker added to some browse-and-select 'tempo' furnished this video with a choicest collection of the top 60 hilarious, spontaneous and outrageous moments of the wing with a picture profile of all wingies. I'd call it the namesake of a popular section from the kids' comic, Tinkle - 'See and Smile'. "Hey Ajeet, zaraa volume badha naa!" :)

Bliss is this

2007-05-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

Bliss is a dinner at Punjabi Dhaba, with an open-air ambience, replete with Lassi at GolB, and a cycle-rickshaw trip back to the Insti

Bliss is Dal Butter Fry at Billoos, with Gariba's karaari rotis, Amul Masti for dessert, followed by a 3-hour sleep in the solace of your soft bed

Bliss is sitting at the Computer after taking a shower on a cool and breezy summer night, after the oppressive heat of the day, with the doors and windows open, a U2 number playing in Winamp and the lyrics flowing unconsciously from the heart

Bliss is climbing down at Bombay from Gitanjali Express, hugging Mum and Dad, taking a warm shower at home, and relishing dhokla while speaking to Parth on the phone

Bliss is sitting on the floor at home, with Mum rubbing oil in your hair, and speaking to her at length after ages

Bliss is lying in bed with Dad on the night you get home, and talking about everything under the sun, until you realize that its 4 in the morning and he needs to go for an outdoor shoot at 6

Bliss is feeling down and inconfident, yet staring at Michael Schumacher's poster in front of you, and gradually coming back to life

Bliss is taking beautiful night shots on long exposure with a Nikon Coolpix digicam

Bliss is watching KK perform live and belting out numbers at his characteristic high pitch

Bliss is the last ETMS show in the Open-Air Theatre decked up with a drizzle and silent lightening, and the best picks being played one more time

Bliss is speaking to Amit

Bliss is being 3 drinks down with Shaggy, and answering his spontaneous and crazy questions with even whackier answers

Bliss is lying in the bed, speaking to Sid on the other bed in the room, and bhaating until the bum falls asleep and you're left speaking to the walls

Bliss is dinner for 3 at the family restaurant at Park

Bliss is going to Mahe's room to take a break, lying down on his bed, and being sent back to your room a few hours later, "Chintan, apne room jaakar so na please."

Bliss is speaking to Khadiya every week on the phone, as if he was still very much a resident of B-304, rather than a Manager at ITC Foods, Bangalore

Bliss is Dandubhai sprucing up your spirits after a tiring day, with a "Itna pyaara bachha paida kaise ho gaya?"

Bliss is Tapori popping up as a GTalk window, "Chintan Singh. Tempo se."

Bliss is receiving a personal copy of a special ScholsAve farewell issue, adorned with all the love and affection of the team members

Bliss is looking back at 5 years at IIT, and wanting to move out and face the world, yet hear a voice in your heart that asks you to live it all over again

Bliss is feeling dead tired and sleepy, yet not wanting to sleep since you're brimming with blissful memories

Bliss is realizing what bliss is

Bliss is this

I'll miss you, Scholars Avenue

2007-04-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

Today is a very special day. On this 17th day of April, 2007, about 2 years after we conceived it, 'The Scholars' Avenue' (more popularly known as ScholsAve), IIT Kharagpur's campus newspaper, has reached out to every single room on campus. To be very honest, till date, I've never dreamt of going to, say, MIT or Stanford or Berkeley. For that matter, I don't dream about 'achievements' because they're so evanescent that the bar just keeps getting raised every time you reach a 'target'. What I, however, did say to Ali Da (Anuj Dayal, for the uninitiated) on one chilly night after a ScholsAve meeting in the Insti Foyer, "Its my dream to see an issue per room". Pat came the reply, "Same here". For once, I'd say - "The dream has come true".

Today, as I walked with Buzz (Basant, my fellow Executive Editor) on the Scholars' Avenue, with a couple of Scholars' Avenues in my hand (pun intended), there was this excitement juxtaposed with a sense of longing. Damn! This is it - I won't be able to do this any more.

I'll miss interviewing the bigwigs coming to campus.

I'll miss interviewing the mavericks and achievers inside campus.

I'll miss writing out the interview and going over it a zillion times before posting it on the group e-mail.

I'll miss threatening fellow batchmates and juniors with yellow journalism.

I'll miss reassuring them soon after with a "But this would be off the record!"

I'll miss singing Hindi numbers, both old and new, at the top of my voice and from the bottom of my heart with the ScholsAve junta on trips to the beach.

I'll especially miss singing "Jungle, jungle baat chali hai, pata chala hai - Arre chaddi pehenke phool khila hai, phool khila hai!" with Sunny.

I'll miss Ali Da getting high on the car, and sleeping through the real fun on the beach.

I'll miss being dead tired and sleeping on Aravind's shoulder on the way back.

I'll miss poring through the issue after layout, searching for every extra blankspace character, and every spelling mistake, and be quick to point out to the ever-restless Marathe.

I'll miss Marathe's lessons on the Queen's English after every email on every thread in the group.

I'll miss the two-hour chats with Sunny on "Lets make things better".

I'll miss Shanks popping in with a "Hey Chinto!" on GTalk during every layout.

I'll miss saying, "Baf! My darling!" to Baffling.

I'll miss Mangu's sense of humour and Dash's sheer flamboyance.

I'll miss Aravind's Mallu pronounciation of Robin as 'Row-bin'.

I'll miss Pranesh's, Vinayak's, Sheekha's, Sreeja's and Swati's sweet smiles.

I'll miss the cool nicks - Myth for Mithun and Bish for Bishnoi.

I'll miss Srinath's and DC's serious discussions on rock, even though I don't get a word of it.

I'll miss AVN's T-Shirt Association.

I'll miss Mickey Kedia's "Cheers, cheers, and more cheers" after every email.

I'll miss the power to reach out to every student inside IIT Kharagpur and every alumni beyond it.

I'll miss you, Scholars Avenue.

The Sound of Music

2007-03-08T14:45:00.001-08:00

Probably everyone does, consciously or unconsciously, relate songs or tunes with particular incidents, people, places or memories in life. When you hear a song after a long time, chances are that you would be reminded of those very incidents and might be even transported to those times. Happens to me all the time! Here's a few numbers from my somewhat random list:

[I mostly listen to popular Hindi music (I'm not really a rock-fan or one who would appreciate ghazals or Urdu lyrics either), but, in particular, KK, Aatif Aslam, A R Rahman and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy are my faves]

Na Tum Jaano na Hum (Kaho Na Pyaar Hai) - Post ICSE Boards, Trips to Aurangabad (Maharashtra) with cousins, Nasik home with Grandparents

Pyaar re (Mujhe Kuchh Kehna Hai) - Junior College, Tons of acne, Gawky and inconfident adolescent, 'The Mummy Returns' at Sterling (my fave single screen theatre at Bombay, with the best-ever popcorn)

Dil Chahta Hai/Kaisi Hai Yeh Rut (DCH) - Thick in preparation for the JEE Screening Exam, Anxiety, Friendship, Parth & Shyam (school-time chums), Lost in thoughts

Yeh Ladka Hai Allah (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham) - Mock Tests for the JEE Main Exams, Organic Chemistry rocks, Mechanics sucks, 10 marks FIITJEE Hyperbola problem solved by me in 3 lines by logical reasoning, without the use of numbers! (The FIITJEE soln was unusually long by its own standards - 1 page, but I was awarded 10/10, with a comment - try to solve mathematically :D )

Phatela Jeb (Aankhein) - Post-JEE summer with Parth.. "Arre bhaltaich pakda Baap, line mein aa, LINE MEIN AA!"

Gustakhiyaan (Aankhein) - Pre-Kgp blues, Leaving home, Neighbour's Mom saying "Kgp mein na woh pumpkin dete hain khaane mein!" Yuck!

Shakalaka Baby (Bombay Dreams) - First week at Kgp, humidity, Shriver-Atkins for Chemistry

Sharara Sharara - TDS Show after Chemistry class test, Going gaga over the dancers in red! ;-)

Baahon Mein Chale Aao (Remix) - At Park with Amit post-NCC on Saturdays; "Hey Amit, overeating nahi karni chahiye.. 2 roti se jyaada main nahi khaa sakta!" (Yeah right.. You should take a look at the greedy Chintan hogging away at Billoos now!)

Silsila Yeh Chahat Ka (Devdas) - Illumination@JCB, slept at 4 AM for the first time ever

Kabhi Toh Nazar Milaao (Adnan Sami) - Nights at the NCC Camp, Box cricket in the barracks, GPL sessions after lights-out ;)

Aye Udi Udi (Saathiya) - New computer, First SpringFest (SF)

Love at First Sight (Kylie Minogue) - Cal Trip with Mum, Dad and Urja (Amit: "Yaar, tune nahi bataaya ki teri ek badi behen bhi hai"; Me: "Oye, woh meri Mummy hain!")

Meri Zindagi Mein Aaye Ho (Armaan) - Summer after 1st yr at Nasik with Sid

Suno Naa (Jhankaar Beats) - Nights at C-109, RP (Amit's room), FIFA 2002

Achhi Lagti Ho (Kuch Na Kaho) - It became a tradition for Siddharth, Amit and me to watch this video for Ash before all 2nd Yr Autumn Midsems for good luck in the paper (Man! She is just so PURRfect!)

Mama I'm coming home (Ozzy Ozbourne) - This song really made me homesick during the Sem-3 midsems, just before DP

Its the Time to Disco (Kal Ho Na Ho) - Its all about Amit's favourite 'Aunty' :D

Ladka Yeh Kehta hai Ladki se (Main Prem ki Deewani Hoon) - KK's show at SF with Sid, watching KK from just below the stage - as close as it gets! :-)

Bin Tere Sanam (Remix) - Dinners with Sid, Andy and (Siddharth) Santra at the Tata Memorial Canteen in IISc, Bangalore (2nd Yr Summer)

Fanaa (Yuva) - Beautiful memories of Bangalore

Ladki Kyun (Hum Tum) - Dunno why, but this number reminds me of my friend, Girija. Hmm, probably because we argued a lot about the movie, 'Hum Tum'.. I thought the mush truly sucked, but she went gaga over it

Shikdum (Dhoom) - Mukund Sharma! I would've loved to put in his exact comment on Rimi Sen, but choose to censor it for the sake of decency :|

In the Shadows (The Rasmus) - Tapori Singh, aka Rahul Garg.. I adore it when he msges at 4 in the morning from Canada, "Chintan Singh, Chintan Singh, utho utho!", or simply, "Chintan Singh, tempo se!"

Numb (Linkin Park) - Cal Trip with Shaggy, Tapori, Sid, Amit and Aashu

Sun Suniyo (Musafir) - Winter Academy with Sid, Kaushik, Samudra and other friends from IITK and IITG at Haldia; Sid's micro-mini shorts! :))

Dekho Naa (Swades), My Dil goes mmm (Salaam Namaste) - Er.. Ahem..

Everything (Lifehouse) - Beautiful lyrics - I would love to sing this song to my soulmate.. Also reminds me of the nonchalance of Rachit Gupta

Tauba Tauba (Kaal) - The freaking heat and humidity of the Kgp summer in Sem-6 and the mad frenzy to the project eval. I lost a whopping 5 kgs in 2 months to end up my lowest-ever weight at Kgp - 60 kgs - and looked more like a zombie in those days!

Bulla ki Jana (Rabbi Shergill) - American Visa no.1

Woh Lamhe (Zeher) - Fun times with Nuria (Oliver), my mentor; my desk at Building 112, Microsoft Research (MSR), Redmond, Washington

Kajra Re (Bunty aur Babli) - Saturday evening movies at Totem Lake Cinemas, the only Hindi movie cinema in the Redmond-Seattle area (Kaal, Bunty aur Babli, Sarkar.. jannat); dancing on the seat with Sid and KK!

Dus Bahaane (Dus) - Sky-diving at Kirkland (near Redmond); Last few days at MSR

Rainbow Remo (Anniyan) - Yana Gupta.. Ooh la la!

Akh Ladiye (Neal and Nikki) - Missing the Bombay Diwali for the 4th year straight :(

Chinamma Chikamma (Mahalaxmi) - Siddharth Dev Sharma (God, this chap is soooo perfect!)

Aadat (Kalyug) - (Aatif Aslam is divine) (Hardly) Studying for GRE in the comforts of home and Mum's food

Pathshala (Rang De Basanti) - The Masti ki Pathshala that is B Top East, Patel Hall - my home for the past 3 years.. "Na koi padhne waala.. Naa koi likhne waala.. Apni to Pathshala, Masti ki Pathshala!" :D

Ya Ali (Gangster) - 2 days at Delhi (2 movies in 15 hours) for my Greek Visa interview; Sid's Monu Mama (aka Akshat Verma) played a great host.. Easily the coolest person I've ever met!

Tu hi meri Shab hai (Gangster) - KK's voice enthralls.. Makes me lose sense of time and space

Beedi (Omkara) - Lovely times with Scholars Avenue junta.. Singing all the way on road trips.. Jannat!

Bas Ek Pal (Bas Ek Pal) - (KK again) Why oh why did Michael Schumacher retire? Staring at his poster at my room, I almost shed a tear the night he announced he would be leaving.. Miss you, Schumi :(

Growing up with Chintu Baba

2006-10-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking of doing this for a long time now, but with the limited time that I spend at home these days, plans always kept getting delayed. This Navratri break gave me the drive to finally scan a few select pics from the numerous childhood albums at home. Did I mention that my Dad is a professional photographer? Here's looking back at 22 years..

Scroll on and enjoy! [:)]

At 9 pounds, I was one of those visibly gluttonous babies (above, with Dad). Mum says that when I was born, I had so many hairs on my ears (below) that she had to massage them off over the months, which is why, as a toddler, I had very soft ears! [:)]

SHENDI-WALEIYYYA ('Shendi' is a slang for strands of hair in Marathi [:P])

KAYYUM KAANA

ALLAHU AKBAR (with Mum)

GUNDA was what Dadi says I used to call my Kaka (Chachaji). The day would not be complete without a rickshaw joy-ride in the evening with Vijay Uncle! Its a different story that he used to be livid when I used to mimic him smoking in front of my grandparents! [:D]

SONI - Sonal D'sa nee Somaiyya, my 'Bua' (hehe.. I'm sure she has never heard me use that word for her!). Now the mother of a four-yr old who was recently termed as the 'most confident kid I've ever come across' by her class-teacher, she still is that fountain of energy and exuberance. I've always looked up to her my entire life.

This pic is special because it had been on a wall-clock at our place in Dombivali (near Thane, where we stayed before shifting to Mulund, Mumbai) for a long time.

HERO HEERALAL - At our first studio in Dombivali

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

With Mumma and Daddy (Gosh, Mumma looks like a school-girl!)

MAMA'S BOY (With Mumma, on my second birthday)

Birthday time again, with Mumma and Daddy. The second birthday album had so many memorable pics that I wanted to scan all of them!

CANDID CAMERA

COWBOY CHINTU (Again, at our studio)

MIKE TYSON, TAKE A BOW - For a fancy-dress competition in our nursery. This one's shot at home. On stage, though, it was a different story altogether - In front of the large audience, I simply burst into tears! [:P]

JAG JA RE GUDDE, MISRI KE POODE, MEETHE LAGE DO NAINA

DOTING DADDY - The music that plays in the Japanese photo album that Daddy got for my pics while he was there makes me very nostalgic.

With Mum, at Matheran, a hill station near Bombay.

FELIPE MASSA LOOK-ALIKE (This one bears a strong resemblance to the Ferrari driver!)

LALOO LOOK-ALIKE! - This pic is very very special for my Grandparents. They still have a frame of this pic at our Nasik home.

JUNIOR KG. B - My class and teachers on my birthday in school. Daddy had to take special permission to come all the way to school and shoot this one. I don't really have the enthu to type out all the names, but yeah - I do remember all of them! [:)]

MUM, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!

The opening of 'SONI PHOTOS', our first studio, by Soni (center). Where am I? Oh I wasn't even born then! [:)]

This pic was shot at around 7 in the morning, before I was leaving for school. I had a middle parting till quite some time, and eventually it was a school teacher in Class 7 who forced me to change to a side-parting!

SAY CHEESE!

With my kid sister, Urja. We have tons of pics together! You'll find more of them further down this blog..

I loved tickling Urja and looking at her toothless laughter!

MISS INDIA - Cutie-pie Urja!

HUM HAIN RABRI DEVI - Urja, before her fancy-dress competition. She fared miles better than I did back during my times, and went on to win third place!

Urja and I (above), with Daddy (below)

Loads of mush! [:)] (above), and again (below)

I was a very shy young boy. I hadn't seen this pic even after it got developed and printed, for almost a year, out of shyness! [:)]

Posing for the camera

Passport pic

The opening of the new Soni Photos at Mulund, Mumbai, once again by Soni (23rd September, 1996). Also seen in the background is Urja, my cousins, Aditi and Dhananjay, Mumma, Dada and Dadi (I call them Pappa and Mummy).

The first pic at Soni Photos, Mulund (Urja with my Dadi)

Probably Mumma's most gorgeous smile on film! [:)]

Mumma and Daddy pose at the studio

With Daddy, at Igatpuri (near Nasik), a summer retreat

With Urja and Mumma (she gained a lot of weight when Urja was born and had a tough time losing it!)

Urja and I, at Bangalore

At Vrindavan Gardens, Mysore

I remember this pic, coz I was miffed for some reason and didn't want to get one clicked!

Daddy, Mumma and Urja, at the Botanical Gardens, Bangalore

Boating, with Urja, in Kodaikanal

This was my favourite shirt for quite some time then!

JAAO, MAIN NAHI DETA POSE!

Class 7, at our terrace

Photo-session at our studio (Class 7 again)

Urja and I, at our studio

Boating, near Darjeeling, with a friend on a children's tour

SKINNY BONES - At a temple in Kerala (second from right)

ALL KHUSHI, NO GAM - Family pic (Class 8)

This one is really special! We also have a large framed version in Mum n Dad's bedroom.

The first time that I have visibly shorter hair!

At Urja's 5th Birthday

RAVI SHASTRI - At a Cultural program in our school (called 'Parents' Day'). This was a drama, based on a spoof of Indian cricketers. I played the commentator.

GAWKY ADOLESCENT - With the first traces of a moustache! [:P]

The first time you see me in specs (Class 9, at Urja's 6th birthday)

A visibly thinner Chintu (Class 10). I remember that I used to eat very little back then. Quite the opposite of what I do now, but Kgp makes sure that I stay thin (Man, I really hate losing weight!)

But of course, the time at home during JEE made sure that I put back those kgs! This one's prolly the last one before I came to Kgp. I weighed almost 5 kgs more than what I do now, and was an inch shorter then.

Urja is Daddy's daughter (above) but I'm still a Mama's boy (below)! (Pics from the last December, i.e. 2005)

Er, this one makes me look atleast 5 years older - ekdum Matrimonial ishtyle pic! [:P] Its kind of embarrassing, but I had to put it here for the sake of completeness!

MAD SCIENTIST - The advent of the Geek! (at Shankarpur, during the Department picnic, April 2006)

SIDSETH - With Sid, at the Niagara Falls (May 2005)

MY ALTER EGO - Shaggy Goel, at Pizza Hut (March 2006)

DIL CHAHTA HAI - At Puri (l to r) Shaggy, Amit, me and Sid (March 2004)

"BHAIYYA NAHI HAIN KYA?" [:D] - With my wingies (clockwise from bottom left - me, Ajeet, Mahe, Teja, Khadu, Chicha, Siddharth, Muks, Makdi, Dandubhai and Baka (taking the pic)), at Aquatica. (August 2005) With non-stop madness all over, fourth year at IIT was easily the best of the lot! [:)]

The Geek, the Spycam expert, the 'Chintan Bhookhe' and 'Bhaiyya Mayray' (termed by Dandubhai), the Chintu Baba, the Chints, the Chintu (and many more) of present times.

S I D S E T H @ S T A N F O R D . E D U

2006-09-15T15:02:00.000-07:00

Its one of those nostalgic 2AMs, when my wing-mates have taken to the recourse of their beds and I have no one to talk to. I'm the worst when alone - I start thinking about all possible things in the world, not least of it, of the time that has gone past. I try to convince myself that this is one of those days when something (probably a low mood) has made me run back the clock, but with 'one of the days' occuring once too often, I think its worth a second thought. Today is the day when Siddharth Seth leaves India for Stanford. Yeah - they say that life goes on, but somehow when comes to Sid, I find myself contradicting my ideologies of moving on in life without looking back, and pushing forward with new ambitions and motivations.

Sid was this verbose fellow even during the JEE days, when I first met him at a lecture. I thought someone would be really dumb to be an optimist and pay 15 grand for a crash course, after clearing the Screening with a huge 4-figure rank from Nasik, where IIT-JEE was probably just as unheard as feminism is in Afghanistan. Well, what do you know? I spot him during Counselling! I'm positively surprised (blame it on my immature ego), but mellow it down with a "What Rank did you score?"

Cut to the first year at IIT. A week into the first semester, I see him voraciously solving tutorials, one after the other. By the time I am to ask chaps for names of textbooks, the guy is done with the tutorial no.3. Conveniently psyched, I figure that its high time I start studying. First semester blues. I don't remember much of Sid from the first year apart from his academic exploits, but one of the days that I still recall is when Amit, Shaggy, Rahul and I gifted him fruit champagne on his birthday. We were friends - he talked, I listened, on those marathon 30-hr train journeys - but that was not the time when I really knew what a friend meant. One thing I knew for sure - this guy is awesome, yet nothing short of a maniac. Amit and I often used to joke that Sid needs to get back home once every 2 months to get back his sanity. To quote Elloit Carver from the Bond flick 'Tomorrow Never Dies', "The difference between insanity and genius is measured only by success".

Our time at the Electronics and Communication Engineering Department brought us closer. His zest for Electronics, I must say, was extremely contagious. Labs were suddenly a lot more fun and classes, with wisecracks all over the place, were enjoyable. Sid's presence initially made me complacent, but as time went past, it only made me push harder. With Sid, perfection is not a passion - its an imperative rule of the game. Of course, there are also flipsides like a positive hatred, or rather repulsion, towards mundane acts like bathing and eating, but did I not mention about the insanity factor?

The summers of '04 and '05 at that we spent together were God-sent. Add to it the week at the Winter Academy in December '04. Its queer, but somehow, we seemed to land up at the same place, in the same buiding, and on the same floor (er, sometimes on the same double-bed too :D)! 'Luck' is probably not the word. 'Divine intervention' - yes. Lets see - Sid's place at Nasik, Centre for Electronic Design, IISc Bangalore, double-bed at Haldia, Microsoft Research at Redmond, Times Square at New York, double-bed (again) at Buffalo near Niagara Falls, double bed (yet again) at the Jersey City Marriot penthouse, casinos and exotic shows at Las Vegas, Universal Studios at Los Angeles, and practically all the time at Kgp. Rewind? I wish..

Special moments - aplenty. Train journeys to and from Kgp, the evening when we got to know about the perfect 10s in Sem-2 (both of us were in Nasik then), at Sid's side during his typhoid stint at BC Roy, the windy night bhaating at Puri beach, Yuva and Lakshya at Bangalore, the ship-ride at Haldia, the MSR selection confirmation, 'Cinderella Man' at Bellevue, gazing at Niagara by night, the night at my place in Bombay after Sid got placed at McKinsey, the night at Maharashtra Bhavan before my GRE (when Sid accompanied a feverish me to Calcutta), the Bhabhi factor during Sem-8... Rewind? God, why can't I?

As Sid takes off, I'm here at my desk, wondering if this is the end. I can end up at a different place and we can still meet up, say once or twice a year. But to be at the same place again? Desperately seeking divine interventions...