De Young and the Restless

We are swimming through a sea but in the end, only a few drops will stick to our hands. If only I was a merman, I would never have to wipe myself dry.

Oh, we're so drenched tonight..

A week in the life of a Scam

Scams by our netas, bureaucrats and governments have become such a mundane yet active part of our lives that we probably won't be able to digest our food (pardon my shameless translation of the Hindi proverb) if otherwise. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there is a pattern to this entire circus.


Phase I: Blatant outrage coupled with the usage of redundant superlatives
"There is no truth to these reports. The accusations are totally, completely, absolutely baseless."

Phase II: Conspiracy Theory
"The opposition is trying to malign me. This is a conspiracy against me."

(After a slew of evidence flashes 24/7 on the 247 live news channels on TV)
Phase III: No comments
"I don't want to make any statements. I am not answerable to the media. I will give an answer to the party high command."

Meanwhile, white collar journalists organize 9PM TV debates with questions so easy that even my cat can answer. Some examples:
"Should Mr. Gadbad Singh be punished by his party?"
"Will the accused get away scot-free?"
"Do you watch this show for the news content or for ogling at the pretty women with ironed hair?"

Phase IV: We are all in the gutter.
"The Chief Minister was aware of the situation. I am not the only person responsible. (Hell, even my wife and mother-in-law are responsible. They keep nagging me for lavish gifts all the time)"
(This triggers a barrage of cross firing and collateral damage, after which everyone is stark naked)

Meanwhile, the Opposition does its job as well.
"The minister should resign. The cabinet should resign. Why is the Prime Minister quiet? He should also resign. There should be elections and we should get elected. (Oh damn, but then at some point we will also do a scam and will have to resign)."

Phase V: Look, I'm such a saint.
"I am resigning voluntarily. There is no pressure on me. My resignation does not prove any guilt."

Phase VI: The Circle of Life
A new scam comes up and we go back to Phase I, happily ever after.

TV journalists, camera-men, editorial writers and cartoonists go to sleep every night thanking God that they still have a job. We all go to sleep every night thanking God that we have something noteworthy to post on Facebook. Our friends go to sleep every night thanking God that they can "Like" and make intellectual comments on our posts.

At the end of the day, only Mark Zuckerberg and Rajdeep Sardesai are laughing themselves sick.